


between mixing cream and coffee

by gyuhyun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 02:15:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2564600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyuhyun/pseuds/gyuhyun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo falls in love with Joonmyun over black coffee and original recipes of frappuccinos. She only wishes Joonmyun could fall in love with her the same way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	between mixing cream and coffee

**Author's Note:**

> bof!au with girl!Kyungsoo and girl!Lu Han
> 
> some [notes](http://darkyulate.livejournal.com/10355.html) you must read.

It is one of those days again, where people don’t come into the cafe—did people ever come? Boa, the owner, is busy doing who knows what at the back, and Kyungsoo is left alone to manage the cash register and orders. Her best friend Lu Han is nowhere in sight, having texted beforehand of her absence. Despite this, Kyungsoo sighs, wondering if her best friend is alright. She can’t help but think of her best friend’s stories about her school and the scary things she’s encountered 

 

Her thoughts are disturbed by the ringing of the bell signalling the entrance of a customer. Upon reflex, Kyungsoo smiles—one that’s not quite so fake but not so real either, to greet the customer with as much happiness she can muster. Before she can say the welcoming words; she catches sight of the man before her. 

 

The man is clad in what she can only assume to be designer clothing, dressed up in fashion that screams “rich.” His hair is dark, it reminds Kyungsoo of black coffee and his skin is pale, almost as pale as hers and there is something about him as he surveys the cafe that takes Kyungsoo’s breath away. This man in front of her is handsome. 

 

“Hello, welcome to Bittersweet Cravings, may I take your order?” She greets, finally remembering to speak and the man turns to her with a small smile that makes her a little weak in the knees. 

 

“Oh, well, you see I didn’t come here to order coffee. I came here looking for someone named Kyungsoo,” He says leaning onto the counter and pressing his face just a little closer to hers. Kyungsoo’s breath hitches as she tries to subtly move away.

 

“That would be me,” she says before she can stop herself and she mentally berates herself for her lack of self-control. She doesn’t know who this person is. Before she can continue mentally chiding herself, the man before her chuckles, filling her with sounds that warms her soul. 

 

“Do you know who I am?” He asks, his tone teasing and playful and Kyungsoo can’t help but shake her head. He chuckles one more time and Kyungsoo swears she feels like she’s drinking warm hot chocolate as the sound fills her ears and wraps her in a certain kind of comfort. “I’m Kim Joonmyun.” 

 

The name is familiar, and she remembers that its one of the names of the boys who are part of F4. She tries to dig further and remember what it was Lu Han had told her about Joonmyun. He coughs and she returns her attention back to him. 

 

“So, Kyungsoo, how about I take you out for something to drink?” He says a small smug smile replacing his smirk. 

 

“I’m sorry, but as you can see I’m working. If you want a drink, you can order one and I’ll gladly make it for you.” She smiles despite the fact that Joonmyun is pissing her off just a little with his smug smiles and straightforwardness. 

 

“Ah, no thanks,” he says coolly. “I don’t drink things made by others.” 

 

Kyungsoo almost drops her jaw but composes herself because she’s working and she doesn’t want to embarrass herself (especially not in front of someone as handsome as Joonmyun). “If you’re not going to order, sir, then please leave.” 

 

Joonmyun laughs loudly and it would have frazzled Kyungsoo further had the sound not made her feel just a little bit more flustered. There is something real about that laugh, something that makes Kyungsoo curious about Joonmyun. When he’s finished laughing, he grins at her, “What for? It’s not like you’re going to have customers anytime soon.” 

 

Kyungsoo resists the urge to slap the man before her. “That maybe true, but you’re wasting my time. I would rather face an empty cafe than deal with you.” 

 

Joonmyun chuckles again and Kyungsoo throws away the urge to down a mug of warm coffee just to compare the sensation she gets. “Well, Kyungsoo, if you go out with me right now, I won’t waste your time. I just want to talk about Lu Han.” 

 

At the mention of her best friend’s name, Kyungsoo pays Joonmyun her utmost attention and he almost laughs at her serious expression, eyes filling with mirth as he tries to hold in his laughter. 

 

“What’s wrong with Lu Han?” 

 

“I’ll tell you if you go out with me.” 

 

Kyungsoo bites her lip and barely notices Joonmyun raise his hand so he can tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. She flinches but he just laughs it off, muttering things about how interesting she is. Kyungsoo ignores him for the time being, letting her mind go through the pros and cons of going out with this man. It wouldn’t really do her much harm, she highly doubts someone as rich as him would waste his time kidnapping someone was of no value to anyone. She wasn’t even pretty enough to be kidnapped, Lu Han had always been the prettier one between them. 

 

She sighs and nods, “Okay, I’ll go with you. Just let me tell the owner.” 

 

She excuses herself quickly and apologizes to Boa for having to leave early who scolds her and Lu Han indirectly for ditching their responsibilities as staff. Kyungsoo has already ignored her halfway through, knowing that Boa barely made any sense. She changes from her working clothes to her school uniform and takes her things with her. 

 

Joonmyun is leaning on the counter, whistling as he waits for her. When she reappears, he turns to smile at her, his smirk teasing for a second before it disappears and there is this unrecognizable look in his eyes. He looks her up and down, making her feel just a tad bit uncomfortable.

 

“What are you looking at?” She tries not to sound so irritated and it’s enough to bring back the smirk on Joonmyun’s face. He extends his arm and his smile softens a little. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and tentatively snakes her hand at the crook of his elbow. 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” He whispers, stooping down a little so his lips are almost touching her ear. The proximity and the feel of his hot breath on her skin makes her flush. It’s worse than his laugh; the feeling is like being burned by newly-brewed coffee. 

 

 

They arrive at a cafe even smaller than Bittersweet Cravings. Kyungsoo looks around while Joonmyun ushers her inside. There are only about two tables and she wonders what kind of cafe only serves this amount of people. The place isn’t even big enough for it to be loaded with people, but it is cozy. 

 

Joonmyun leads her to a table and pulls her chair back, and Kyungsoo notes how gentlemanly he moves. “Why is the place so small?”

 

He smiles at her, a little teasingly, “It’s where I practice making my coffee. I don’t really sell anything here. It’s just where I can hang out with my friends and make them drinks they’d like.”

 

“So you only drink the coffee you make?” She asks as Joonmyun turns around, presumably to make them something to drink. She watches him nod and busy himself from behind the counter. She can only wait and wonder what kind of drink Joonmyun would make for her. 

 

She nearly falls asleep waiting, but when Joonmyun arrives with her drink already on the table, she can’t contain the little bubble of excitement in her. In front of her is a tall clear glass with a caramel-colored drink. The glass is swirled with chocolate syrup and the drink is topped of with whipped cream and sprinkled with some cocoa powder. She can smell the coffee and chocolate and her mouth waters just at the scent. She takes the drink and mixes it a little and takes a tentative sip. 

 

The drink is heavenly and she wonders how come she’s never had this kind of drink before. She can taste the chocolate, coffee, a little of the cream and caramel and she drinks some more before remembering that she’s not there to drink coffee but to talk about Lu Han. Taking one last sip, she turns her attention back to Joonmyun who’s smiling at her with an amused glint in his eyes, in his hand is a mug of black coffee. She flushes, realizing she may have been sporting an embarrassing expression. 

 

“You wanted to talk about Lu Han?” She begins. Joonmyun nods, settling his cup down. 

 

“You’re aware that Jongin is pursuing her, yes?” She nods at that and Joonmyun continues. “You see, Jongin isn’t your ordinary teenager. He’s the heir to the Kim Worldwide Corporation, there’s a lot of things that are expected of him. But he’s also just a person who’s looking for someone who could love him.” Joonmyun pauses and Kyungsoo digests the information she’s being given. 

 

“Does Lu Han even have any feelings for Jongin?” 

 

Kyungsoo thinks about the stories Lu Han has told her of experiences with Jongin and she bites her lip, because even she isn’t sure. “I think that whatever business those two have, it is something we can’t meddle in.”

 

Joonmyun sighs and Kyungsoo notes that he seems slightly annoyed with her answer. “Look, as Jongin’s friend, I am just concerned what this could do to him, not just emotionally but also for his image. Lu Han may not realize how serious Jongin is and she may end up hurting him.” His tone is frustrated and Kyungsoo almost winces because his frustration is being indirectly thrown at her. “Lu Han isn’t the type of girl that Jongin’s allowed to be serious with—”

 

Kyungsoo’s ears perk up at that and she can’t believe Joonmyun has just insulted her best friend. “Are you telling me that Lu Han isn’t suitable enough to date Jongin? I’ll have you know that Lu Han is the most honorable woman I’ve ever met. She’s definitely more honorable than the rest of your group, that’s for sure.” 

 

She takes one more long sip from her drink and stands up. “Thanks for the drink, but I think it’s time that I leave.” She confidently walks out of the cafe and out into the street. 

 

It’s only after a few seconds of walking blindly that she realizes she doesn’t know where she is and how to get home. She’s never been in this area before and she wishes she’d paid enough attention to her surroundings so she could have taken note of how to get back, maybe. She contemplates going back but decides against it because her exit was perfect. She didn’t want to give Joonmyun the impression she’d given up. Finding no other solution than to ask around, she takes a deep breath and looks for the nearest place with people. Barely three steps into the walk, a hand grabs her by the arm and whirls her around. She is met by the sight of a slightly disgruntled Joonmyun.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said,” he starts, panting slightly, “I know I offended you and Lu Han. I shouldn’t have said those things the way I did. It wasn’t what I meant to say.” He takes a deep breath. “I know you’ve never been here before so as an apology, at least let me take you home.”

 

Kyungsoo is just about to decline but realizing that Joonmyun’s offer is sincere, she relents and allows herself to be lead back to his car. 

 

The ride is filled with awkward silence only broken by Kyungsoo who has to tell Joonmyun where she lives. She doesn’t bother making any more conversation after that. She’s still just a little bit displeased with the way their conversation had turned. By the time they do reach her house, Joonmyun exits the car quickly enough to open her door. The gesture melts her anger away slowly. 

 

“Thank you for your time, Kyungsoo.” Joonmyun turns to her, giving her a breathtaking smile. It makes Kyungsoo flush, the smile immediately making her forget about their fight. 

 

“Thank you for the drink,” she manages to say and she freezes when Joonmyun loops a lock of her hair with his index finger, twirling the strands before tucking it behind her ear. 

 

Joonmyun bends down to whisper against her ear, “I’ll see you soon, Kyungsoo.” The scent of his breath hinting of black coffee and something sweet, something Kyungsoo can’t quite pinpoint yet. The gesture leaves her stunned and standing still. By the time Kyungsoo regains her senses, Joonmyun is already gone, his car no longer in the vicinity but her heart is still racing and her cheeks feel warm. 

 

She makes a mental note to tell Lu Han about him tomorrow at work the next day. 

 

 

Lu Han shakes her by her shoulders before she can even finish her sentence of ‘I met Joonmyun yesterday’.

 

Lu han goes on to warn her about who Joonmyun is and what kind of a man he is. Kyungsoo pretends her heart doesn’t sink at the information given to her, _playboy, heartbreaker, sleeps with anyone with a vagina_. He hadn’t really seemed like a playboy last night but it makes sense, the way he could sweep her off her feet. It must be from experience. 

 

“Guys like him are the worst,” Lu Han says with vigor, “I don’t know who’s worse to be honest— him or their other friend, Jongdae, who only does it with older women.” Lu Han visibly shudders. “I really can’t understand why Sehun would hang out with people like Jongin, Jongdae and Joonmyun.”

 

Kyungsoo chuckles as her best friend continues to grumble, ignoring the slight ache in her heart. 

 

“Promise me you won’t fall in love with him.” Lu Han says concerned. Kyungsoo shakes her head and offers her a smile. 

 

“Of course.” 

 

But the promise feels like a lie.

**❅ ❅ ❅**

Kyungsoo doesn’t expect to see Joonmyun anytime after that. She doesn’t, however, stop thinking about him. She knows it’s wrong because she remembers (quite unfortunately) that she has a boyfriend. She pretends that it’s alright to be thinking about him. She chalks it up to curiosity. She isn’t so desperate, yet to start checking out Naver and Daum about the information they can hold about him. She won’t go there (yet).

 

As days fade into weeks, she gives herself a pat on the back when she begins to think of him less and less. She, quite sadly, begins to have an obsession on making black coffee and trying to find that certain sweetness she’d gotten a whiff of when Joonmyun spoke to her. She tells herself it’s because she needs to learn it, for her future. She tells herself it isn’t because it’s the way Joonmyun might like his coffee. 

 

She finally perfects the coffee the same day her best friend comes to work with Joonmyun and some other guy behind her. Lu Han’s uniform is torn and dirtied and she looks tired and immediately, Kyungsoo is by her side trying to assess the damage. 

 

“What happened?” She asks to anyone who will answer her as she makes Lu Han sit on one of the tables nearer to the back. 

 

The one she doesn’t know sighs and explains what happened. Kyungsoo manages to catch the gist of the situation as she tries to bandage Lu Han up. Something about Lu Han being framed for cheating on Jongin. 

 

She can’t help it when she says, “But I thought that you weren’t dating?” This time she turns her attention to Lu Han who’s been quiet since the nameless guy had spoken. 

 

“I don’t know,” Lu Han weakly replies, “I—we’re not dating but he’s thinking that we are and…” She takes a deep breath and looks straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes, “He’s so angry with me Kyungsoo. He wouldn’t even listen to me when I tried to explain. He just, he looked at me with such cold eyes.” Lu Han’s eyes begin to water but she doesn’t cry and Kyungsoo is so perplexed by the situation because Lu Han is never this weak. 

 

“Don’t worry, Lu Han, we’ll help you out,” The nameless guy puts a hand on Lu Han’s shoulder and Kyungsoo remembers about the boys who accompanied her friend. She looks at the guy who’d spoken questioningly then at Joonmyun who smiles softly at them. 

 

“Ah, where are my manners, I’m Kim Jongdae.” The not-so-nameless guy introduces as he extends his hand and Kyungsoo shakes it. 

 

“I’m Kyungsoo.”

 

“I know.”

 

Before Kyungsoo can ask what he means, Joonmyun and Jongdae take a seat on their table and begin discussing the serious matter at hand. 

 

It seems that the two already have an idea as to how they can help Lu Han catch the culprit and in a matter of minutes they’re already settling who’s going to where. 

 

“Can Kyungsoo come?” Lu Han asks and Kyungsoo isn’t given a choice of declining before she’s being pushed towards the car she remembers to have entered when Joonmyun had whisked her away the first time they met. 

 

They first stop by a clothing store for men and Kyungsoo and Lu Han look on starry eyed at the expensive clothes lined up in front of them. Joonmyun winks at them and mouths something like ‘Watch me’ as he works his way around the shop, casually trying clothes out (and looking handsome more than ever, Kyungsoo notices). When he gets the attention of a worker, they see Joonmyun work his magic. 

 

He asks them in a professional manner and when they refuse to talk, he begins to use his power and money. It dawns on the both of them just how powerful a member of F4 is. It doesn’t take them long to get the information they need and before they know it they’re moving on to their next destination: a host club. 

 

After exchanging information with Jongdae, they agree to meet at the host club. 

 

The host club isn’t anything fancy, but it’s new and there are a lot of handsome men and women and all of them stop to look at Joonmyun when he walks in. He gives them a smile, clearly liking the attention and walks forward looking around for the face he’d seen on the photo the manager at the clothing store gave him. 

 

“I’ll go asking around for someone who’s seen him.” He points to the picture in his hands. “You guys should look out for him. Especially you, Lu Han.”

 

He walks away without a second glance and Lu Han grumbles something about Joonmyun just wanting to flirt with the women. Kyungsoo sighs and pulls her best friend along to look for the guy who may have been the cause of all this. She ignores the voices in her head that tell her to look back. She knows what kind of sight will greet her and she doesn’t want to remember what kind of man Joonmyun is. 

 

It takes a while and they even meet Jongdae along the search and they agree to meet with Joonmyun back at the center of the club. They find him surrounded by women, left and right and being served by the manager himself. Jongdae joins him in his fun, picking up the significantly older women. The other hosts look on with envy at having their customers stolen by a bunch of not-really-nobodys and Kyungsoo looks on with envy for a whole different reason. 

 

She almost sighs in relief when Joonmyun disentangles himself from the swarm of slutty looking women. There’s a look of triumph on his face when he approaches them, Jongdae not far behind.

 

“We’ve got him.” He points to the entrance behind the girls and there walks in the guy they’ve been looking for. 

 

They corner him in an alley and try to coax the truth out of him. The truth however isn’t what they’re expecting. They hit a dead end with only just the name of a girl who they all don’t know where to find. Lu Han is the one who is visibly deflated amongst them all. 

 

“We’ll find her,” Kyungsoo tries to reassure. Lu Han weakly nods and before long, she places a fake looking smile on her face.

 

“I’ll go looking for her on my own. I think I know where I can find her.” Lu Han doesn’t wait for any of their approval before leaving the vicinity, running in the direction of somewhere Kyungsoo doesn’t know. 

 

Kyungsoo turns her attention back to the two men. Jongdae is on his phone, busily typing away. Joonmyun looks contemplative. 

 

“Things aren’t adding up,” Jongdae sighs. “I’m going to do some more research, I think I can handle this, it might have something to do with Jongin, too.” 

 

Joonmyun nods and turns to Kyungsoo just as Jongdae moves to head to his car. “How about I take you home?” 

 

Kyungsoo splutters before agreeing, having no choice because even though she can go home on her own from there, she wants to spend some time with Joonmyun. She blames the flush on her cheeks on the cold as Joonmyun opens his car door for her. 

 

It dawns on her, as she sits down in his car, that she’s been spending almost the whole day with him. She’s seen another side of him, a side that’s real and she isn’t sure if she likes it. She’d seen the way Joonmyun woo women and it made her envious of the attention he gave them. She shakes her head of such negative thoughts, thoughts that she isn’t even allowed to think of because she has a boyfriend. She focuses instead on the good things that happened. 

 

“Thank you,” she begins, “You guys helped Lu Han out.”

 

“If Jongin wants to be serious with her, then we’re going to support Lu Han as well. Right now they’re going through a rough patch, but I’m sure they’re going to be fine. Lu Han seems to be a tough girl.” He laughs at this, the sound reminding Kyungsoo of the black coffee she’d perfected earlier today. 

 

“Wait, do you think maybe you could take me back to the cafe?” She asks. 

 

“Why?”

 

She takes a deep breath, “I know you don’t drink coffee made by other people but I want to give you something as thanks for not only helping my best friend out but for accepting her into your group.” She doesn’t look him in the eye and instead focuses on her hands on her lap. 

 

Joonmyun is quiet before humming is agreement, “Okay, I’ll try your drink.”

 

Kyungsoo is about to exclaim in happiness when Joonmyun cuts her off, “But if I spit out your coffee, then you have to give me something else.” There’s a look in his eyes, a look that speaks of pure evil and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say to that. She wants to ask him what else she could possibly give him and when she does find her voice to ask, he only chuckles and tells her she’ll only know if Joonmyun spits out the coffee she makes for him. 

 

Kyungsoo is torn between wanting to mess up the coffee just so she could know what it is that Joonmyun could want from her. But as soon as they arrive and she begins making the coffee, nothing but perfection comes out from the tips of her fingers and it doesn’t take long before she’s making brewed black coffee, the aroma of the beans filling the cafe. When she pours the coffee into the mug, she dashes some cinnamon into it and hopes this is the way Joonmyun likes his coffee. 

 

Joonmyun is resting his head on his palm when Kyungsoo walks out of the counter with a cup of coffee on a tray. She pushes it towards Joonmyun as she sits down, taking time to note the amused smirk on his face. She holds her breath as Joonmyun slowly brings the cup to his lips and wills her eyes to stay open and watch as he takes a sip. 

 

His expression remains blank even as he sets his cup down but when he looks her in the eyes, his eyes are shining and slowly but surely a smile makes its way to his lips. “You got it right. How did you do that?” 

 

Kyungsoo laughs with relief and resists the urge to tell him she smelled it on his breath. She settles for, “You seem like the type.” 

 

“I have to say Kyungsoo, you’re the first person whose coffee I haven’t spit out yet.” Kyungsoo doesn’t know why she blushes. “When I own my own cafe, maybe I’ll consider hiring you.” 

 

There’s sincerity in his eyes and Kyungsoo remembers that Joonmyun’s family is in the coffee business. The opportunity to work with someone like the Kim’s Coffee Co., is an honor in and of itself. The breath is stolen from her lips before she regains composure and is thanking Joonmyun profusely who waves her off. 

 

“You’re obviously talented and I don’t want you as competition.” He smiles at her gently. “What do you say? Do we have a deal?”

 

Kyungsoo excitedly nods, “I’m applying for a scholarship in France at this university where I will not only focus on being a barista but a patissier as well. I promise to study hard so when I graduate, I can work for you immediately.” 

 

The laugh that escapes Joonmyun’s lips is different sounding, like cool dark chocolate that slides down her throat. It feels real, which is a surprise because she hadn’t known laughs could be fake. “I’ll wait for that day then.” 

 

Their moment is ruined when Joonmyun receives a call from Jongdae and Jongin consecutively. 

“Lu Han’s been taken and Jongin needs our help.” Joonmyun grabs Kyungsoo by the wrist and pulls her with him towards his car. The worry that settles in her is only calmed when Joonmyun looks at her and tells her everything will be fine. 

 

 

When they reach the school, Jongdae is already helping Jongin nurse his wounds while a few men untie Lu Han from her chair. There are a few more men, who Kyungsoo assumes to be part of Jongdae’s crowd (since he’s supposedly a mafia boss’ son), who are disposing the other people, people who Kyungsoo assumes to be the one that hurt Jongin and Lu Han. 

 

Kyungsoo quickly rushes to the side of her friend, enveloping her in a comforting hug, making sure to give her enough room just so if her body is injured then she wouldn’t be hurt. Lu Han and Jongin explain the situation and how they solved the matter. The smirk on Jongin’s face never leaves and the relief on Lu Han’s face is evident. Kyungsoo offers to make them all tea and hot chocolate so they can all relax and they head back to Joonmyun’s tiny cafe. 

 

Surprisingly, Joonmyun offers to help her make the drinks. They somehow work in a somewhat perfect cycle. Joonmyun moves around the kitchen like Kyungsoo has always existed in it. They exchange small smiles as they finish off the drinks one by one. Kyungsoo wishes she could have more opportunities to work with Joonmyun like this. Maybe, in the future it’s possible. 

 

When they’re done, they gather around the table and Kyungsoo notices Joonmyun’s natural smiles and jokes around his group of friends, watches Lu Han sneak glances at Jongin who is shamelessly telling them that Lu Han loves him. In a way she feels a little out of place but she likes watching the scenes unfold in front of her. 

 

She’s too absorbed in her observing that she belatedly realizes that everyone’s going home. 

 

“I’ll take her home,” Joonmyun volunteers and Lu Han looks like she’s about to say something as she grips on the sleeve of Jongin’s sweater. She’s clearly not up for the idea but Jongin is already pushing Joonmyun to Kyungsoo and thanking him for his kindness as he drags Lu Han out of the cafe. 

 

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo softly says as she exits Joonmyun’s car. 

 

Joonmyun stands in front of her smiling down at her. “Thanks for the coffee. I’ve never made coffee with someone else before and I’d like to make drinks with you some other time,” He says walking a little closer towards her.

 

Kyungsoo gulps as Joonmyun brushes her fringe a little so it isn’t obscuring her eyes, “I’d like that.” 

 

“Good night, Kyungsoo,” he whispers, leaning in just so their breaths mingle. She notes that he smells like hot chocolate and it warms her, more than the tea she’d drank moments ago. 

 

“Good night,” She whispers closing her eyes, feeling Joonmyun’s fingers ghost over her cheeks. A few seconds pass and nothing happens and when she opens her eyes, Joonmyun is already in his car, driving away. 

 

She pretends her heart doesn’t drop to her stomach and that the slight ache in her chest and how suffocating it is to breathe it isn’t from anything else but the cold air. 

 

Her feelings are a jumbled mess now and she doesn’t know what it means, doesn’t know what Joonmyun’s doing. It’s confusing her and she doesn’t need this right now. 

 

She goes to sleep that night dreaming of arms beside hers making coffee and jokes told in between taking orders in a cafe that’s bustling with people. She dreams of black coffee sprinkled with cinnamon and conversations made late into the night. And when she wakes up, she pretends that it doesn’t make her heart race or her mind wishing for something more, for something clear. She pretends she doesn’t want Joonmyun. 

 

But she really really does.

**❅ ❅ ❅**

Kyungsoo is on the way home from when she sees them. She can’t believe her eyes. She can’t breathe as the sight in front of her progresses. There in front of her is her boyfriend with another woman. And suddenly everything begins to click in her mind, why her boyfriend isn’t returning her calls, why he won’t meet up with her. At first she thought her boyfriend had caught on about her feelings for Joonmyun but she hadn’t expected it to be this.

 

She feels anger build up inside of her and with heavy footsteps, she marches right up to the couple. 

 

“You!” She nearly screams, drawing the attention of the people around them including her ex-boyfriend and his woman, “How dare you cheat on me!” 

 

She manages to slap the man before she’s pushed harshly by the woman and she stumbles back nearly tripping. 

 

“Don’t touch me!” Her ex-boyfriend shouts. “I don’t even know you!” 

 

Kyungsoo can’t help but gape as her ex-boyfriend walks away with the woman still in his arms. She gathers all her courage not to cry at the fact that she’s been betrayed and embarrassed. She runs away from the place trying to find a good place where she can be alone with her thoughts and realizes belatedly that it’s begun to rain. She curses at how her day’s unfolding, and she tries to make a quick escape from the cold bite of the rain. 

 

Her lungs nearly give out from all the running she’s done and she stops, feeling the effort to be futile now that she’s soaked through and through anyways. She stops in front of a pedestrian and she can’t walk yet because the lights are all green and cars are running past her in full speed. Killing herself doesn’t even cross her mind. 

 

She didn’t love her boyfriend, but it hurts to be fooled with. She takes a deep breath and lets go of her emotions. She can’t help it as she crumbles down and hugs her knees to her chest. Painful cries escape her lips as tears stream down her cheeks. 

 

She doesn’t know how long she’s been crying but when she feels the rain abruptly stop falling on her she can’t help but pause and look up. She stumbles back at the sight in front of her: Joonmyun is holding an umbrella over her head.

 

“Here.” Joonmyun offers her his hand and Kyungsoo should run away before she embarrasses herself any further but she ends up bringing her hand up and he pulls her to her feet. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong. He just pushes her into his car and takes her away to someplace she’s never been before.

They arrive at a mansion and before Kyungsoo can comprehend the situation, Joonmyun is pulling her inside the mansion and into one of the rooms. The room they enter is big, even bigger than the cafe she works in. There’s a bed in the middle of the room and a few other commodities, but other than that, the room is bare. She thinks she might be in a guestroom. 

 

“Here,” Joonmyun calls out and she turns to find him handing her a towel. “Dry yourself. I’ll have someone bring you some spare clothes and you can just give them your wet ones so they can dry it.” She nods dumbly and watches as Joonmyun exits the room while he towels his hair dry.

 

She dries her hair and almost forgets about the things that happened earlier. She feels like crying again but before she can there’s a knock on the door. She opens it to find a young looking maid with a set of clothes in her hands. 

 

“Here are your clothes, Miss.” The maid bows, “I’ll be waiting for your wet ones so I can dry them,” she says as she hands Kyungsoo the clothes. 

 

Kyungsoo takes the clothes and dresses immediately. She hands her wet clothes to the maid, leaving Kyungsoo to admire herself in the mirror placed conveniently by the bathroom door. The clothes feel comfortable and expensive. It’s a casual pastel colored sweater that clings to her body, emphasizing all her curves. The dark skirt that accompanies it gives her the impression that she has long legs. Even if they look and make her feel sexy, they’re incredibly warm and comfortable. She can only assume that Joonmyun had picked these out. She doesn’t even want to know how he knew her size, doesn’t want to think how he could have such a talent. 

 

Her thoughts are disrupted when there’s a light knock on the door, “Kyungsoo, can I come in?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

Joonmyun enters the room and there’s a moment of silence as his gaze falls on her. It feels as though he’s watching her, observing her and then a smile graces his lips and with a tilt of his head he says, “You look beautiful.”

 

The compliment makes her breath catch in her throat and to make matters worse, he’s striding towards her. When he’s close enough, he pushes the hair laying on her shoulder back. “Better,” he whispers. 

 

“Come with me,” he says, offering her his arm. She lays her hand in the crook of his arm.

 

“Thanks,” she whispers as they walk out of the room and into the hallways. 

 

“Don’t thank me, yet.” 

 

She doesn’t ask him what he means by that, only allowing him to lead her to what she can assume is his cafe. Joonmyun sits her down and begins to busy himself in the kitchen. She bites her lip as she wonders what Joonmyun could be making her now. She doesn’t know what to do. She wants to leave because she doesn’t know why she’s here. Before she can even gather the strength to go, Joonmyun has already appeared with a cup of coffee in his hand, topped off with more than just the normal amount of whipped cream. 

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at the beverage before smiling at Joonmyun. “How did you know I like whipped cream?”

 

“You seemed like the type,” He says simply and Kyungsoo takes a sip of her drink. It taste just the way she likes her coffee, sweet and just the right amount of bitterness. It warms her from the winter rain almost immediately. “Did I get it right?”

 

Kyungsoo nods excitedly, “Thank you.”

 

“So, care to tell me why you were crying in the street?” Kyungsoo nearly chokes on her drink and she struggles to compose herself for a moment before settling the cup of coffee down and sighing. There’s a second of hesitation but when she looks up to meet Joonmyun’s eyes, there’s something about the way he looks at her that gives her the strength to tell him the truth.

 

“My—” she takes a deep breath, “My ex-boyfriend cheated on me.” 

 

Joonmyun listens to her, listens to her rants and rattle on and it’s endearing to watch, the way he nods to show her that he’s paying attention, the way he doesn’t say anything almost as if he understands that Kyungsoo needs to let it all out. It makes Kyungsoo feel cared for, it makes her heart race for an entirely different reason other than anger. When she finishes, there is a flush in her cheeks that she isn’t quite sure if it’s brought upon by her non-stop ranting or the way Joonmyun was watching her.

 

Joonmyun smirks at her and leans in, “Would you want to take revenge on him, then?”

 

“Excuse me?” She asks a little bewildered.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Joonmyun doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s further agreement before he’s pulling her excitedly off her seat and back into his car. 

 

“What are we going to do?” 

 

“Just trust me.” He smiles at her and there’s something about that smile that makes Kyungsoo believe in his words. So she nods her head and gives a small okay. 

 

 

Joonmyun drives her back to where she last saw her ex-boyfriend, and sure enough she spots them by the entrance of the nearby cinema. She tugs on Joonmyun’s sleeve to point to where they are. Joonmyun gives her a mischievous smile as he offers her his arm once more, “Well, shall we?”

 

They walk towards the entrance of the cinema. “Follow my lead,” Joonmyun whispers just by her ear which makes Kyungsoo’s cheeks flame. 

 

The stares they garner just by walking towards their cinema makes Kyungsoo self-conscious and she momentarily wonders if this is a good idea. Joonmyun leans down again and whispers, “Don’t worry, you look amazing.” 

 

It’s enough to calm her nerves for a moment and she gains some sort of confidence so she straightens her posture and flashes a smile. For a moment, it feels almost right to be standing beside Joonmyun like this. For a moment, it feels as though she were perfect for Joonmyun, clad in rich clothing and looking beautiful just as Joonmyun had said. How she wishes it were so. 

 

Joonmyun parades her around momentarily to the movie-goers—gaining attention because he’s one of the F4 members and with him is a beautiful lady to match. The women gossip about how unfair it is, and the men grumble at him for stealing the attention of all the women in the cinema. 

 

But they don’t pay any attention to them, they only pay attention to the couple who has yet to see their entrance. When they are finally in their line of sight, Kyungsoo finds Joonmyun’s smile to be scarily predatory. He walks with quick graceful steps towards them. 

 

“You’re Kyungsoo’s ex-boyfriend, right?” Joonmyun starts drawing the attention of the couple. The woman gasps and Kyungsoo wants to shrink back into non-existence or maybe hide away. She hadn’t been expecting a direct approach. The man in question however only smirks at him and replies with a smug, “I’m sorry, I don’t know anyone by that name.”

 

Joonmyun seems to have expected this answer so he tugs Kyungsoo forward and Kyungsoo summons all her self-confidence and courage. She smiles up at her ex-boyfriend and tries to look her prettiest in all her sixteen years of existence. She fist pumps mentally when the couple in front of them gapes. 

 

“So you don’t know who this person is, at all?” The man can’t talk as he continues to stare down at Kyungsoo, clearly bewitched and the woman is the quick to recover with an irritating, “Oppa.” But her “Oppa” is still too busy ogling Kyungsoo. 

 

Joonmyun chuckles as he brings Kyungsoo back to his side, and a little bit behind him. “That’s enough looking. If you don’t know her then, well I guess it’s just my luck having stumbled upon such a gorgeous woman.”

 

“But I’m curious,” Joonmyun continues, smiling viciously down at Kyungsoo, “Do you know who this man is then?” 

 

Kyungsoo returns the smile, “No, absolutely not.” 

 

“Well then, I think that’s our cue to leave.”

 

Joonmyun waits for Kyungsoo to curl her hand in the crook of his elbow before leading her out of the cinema. 

 

 

They’re still laughing about it even when they’re inside the car, as Joonmyun drives her home. 

 

“Thank you so much.” Kyungsoo manages to say when they’ve calmed down from their high. She hopes he can sense how heartfelt it is. 

 

It’s a stop light so Joonmyun stops and looks at her with a breathtaking smile. It’s a smile she’s never seen before and it makes her heart skip a beat. 

 

“You’re more than welcome.” 

 

If she wasn’t in love before, then she’s definitely in love now.

**❅ ❅ ❅**

Christmas carols are playing in the background as Kyungsoo wipes the sweat from her brow. She bites her lip as she stares down at the chocolate hearts in front of her. It had been on a whim when she decided she’d make them. It would have been a great Christmas present for Joonmyun, also as a thanks for that time he’d helped her out. But then she’d gotten the crazy idea to shape them into hearts, and well she doesn’t think it’s appropriate to give them to him now.

 

Kyungsoo sets the tray down on the table and sighs. Her family didn’t really like chocolates so she doesn’t exactly know what to do with them. Her eyes move from the tray to the blue gift box she’d bought. She really wants to give the chocolates to Joonmyun but they’re too intimate looking. Joonmyun would know immediately about her feelings, not that she’s sure he doesn’t know. She has a feeling Joonmyun has his speculations because he’s so good with reading women. A groan makes it past her lips at the thought. 

 

“God, I’m so embarrassing."

 

She looks at her pitiful chocolates one last time, “Maybe I can give these to Lu Han and Boa.” She thinks about it for a moment before nodding. “Yes, I’ll do that.”

 

With a sigh, she takes the chocolate wrap and places it in the box and decorates it like she’s still giving it to Joonmyun. She takes the chocolates and carefully puts them in the box and wraps a shiny goldish blue ribbon around it once the lid is on. 

 

 

The walk to the cafe isn’t all that long and she hums to herself to distract her from thoughts of walking or commuting to Joonmyun’s mansion. It then crosses her mind that maybe Joonmyun may have plans of his own or is maybe out on a date with a beautiful woman. She stops humming and sighs. It’s not like humming is taking her mind off things, in fact, it’s making it worse. 

 

Absorbed in her thoughts, she accidentally bumps into someone making her stumble. Before she can steady herself, an arm wraps around her waist and when she looks up she meets the eyes of her savior. The eyes remind her of warm bittersweet coffee. The eyes of Joonmyun. She almost shrieks when she realizes _Joonmyun_ has his arm around her. 

 

“Kyungsoo, are you okay?” Joonmyun asks as he slowly steadies Kyungsoo to her feet. Kyungsoo’s a little breathless with her heart racing but she manages to reply albeit softly. 

 

“What are you doing then?” Joonmyun asks walking alongside Kyungsoo as she makes her way to the cafe.

 

“I’m bringing homemade chocolates to the cafe. I made some and forgot that my family didn’t really like sweets.” She laughs a little at that avoiding making eye contact with Joonmyun because even his small smile made it hard to focus. 

 

“Oh,” he says contemplatively. 

 

“Do you really have to go?” He says just when they’re near the cafe. They stop walking and Kyungsoo finally turns to look at Joonmyun. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, my date ditched me last minute and I was wondering maybe you could spend some time with me? It seems like you’re available. Maybe we could mix some drinks.” Joonmyun shrugs and he seems so unfazed that he’s just asked Kyungsoo out that she can’t help but look into his eyes and see if he’s serious about his offer. 

 

She opens her mouth for a few seconds and nothing comes out. She closes it and Joonmyun smiles at her before reaching out for her hand. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

Before Joonmyun pulls her along, Kyungsoo manages a small smile and a simple ‘Fine,’ and then they’re heading to wherever it is he wants to go. 

 

 

They find themselves back at Joonmyun’s tiny cafe. Kyungsoo somehow feels comfortable inside, like she belongs. It’s a rare feeling, like she’s become a part of his world. 

 

“So what do you suggest we do?” She finds herself asking as she sets her things down on one of the tables. 

 

“I was thinking maybe we could make each other drinks. I could dedicate a christmas drink for you and you could do the same for me. It could be a game of some sort.” He shrugs but he’s smiling as if to rile her up. 

 

“That’s sounds like a nice idea.” She returns the smile although hers is more friendly than challenging.

 

“First one to finish wins.” He smirks at her, and she can’t help the teasing smile that spreads across her face.

 

“Deal.”

 

“What’s the price?” She asks, as if remembering games needed prizes.

 

“Your chocolates!” He replies almost immediately. Kyungsoo is all hyped up that it doesn’t even cross her mind that the chocolates wouldn’t be so much as a prize for her as it is for Joonmyun.

 

“You’re on!”

 

They both rush to the kitchen, pushing each other aside to get there the fastest. Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh as she manages to make it first, grabbing the coffee mix in one of the cupboards she’s noticed Joonmyun open. She sets to work quickly, thinking up of ingredients that would match Joonmyun’s personality and almost at once she has her recipe. 

 

Kyungsoo lets out a yelp as Joonmyun bumps her to the side, almost making her lose her grip on the cocoa powder. 

 

“Oh you did not just go there,” she warns and Joonmyun chuckles, smirking at her, challenging her to do something. 

 

With a wicked grin, she does the only thing she can think of, she grabs a handful of cocoa powder and dashes Joonmyun’s fearful looking face and then laughs her ass off. She’s laughing so hard that it catches her off guard when Joonmyun splashes her with water from the sink. They end up throwing more powders and liquids at each other instead of actually making their respective drink. 

 

Kyungsoo sinks down to the floor as she rests her back on the counter. She lets out a tired laugh as Joonmyun sits down beside her. 

 

“I think we’ve successfully made coffee out of each other instead of actually making our drinks,” He says with a small smile and Kyungsoo laughs because there’s coffee powder in his hair and chocolate lines on his face but he’s still the most handsome man she’s ever seen. 

 

“My mom is going to kill me when she sees this mess. Oh god,” She says in between laughters and Joonmyun can’t help laughing as well. 

 

“Come, I suppose this was my fault, challenging you and all. I might have some clothes for you to wear and I could just have one of the maids clean your clothes for you.” He offers Kyungsoo his hand and Kyungsoo reminds herself that this means nothing as she takes it. 

 

Joonmyun leads Kyungsoo back to the guest room she once stayed in and tells her to take a shower and the maids will bring her the clothes she will use. Once Joonmyun’s out the door, Kyungsoo makes her way to the bathroom and assesses the damage. 

 

There are lines of chocolate powder mixed with sweat and water on her face, a little bit of whipped cream powder and coffee on her clothes and her hair and arms are sticky all over. She blushes at the thought that Joonmyun has seen her in one of her ugliest moments but laughs it off because she shouldn’t be expecting him to fall in love with her. 

 

She cleans herself thoroughly glad that coffee, chocolate and whipped cream can be taken out from her hair and hopes Joonmyun isn’t having such a hard time with cleaning himself. When she finishes, she finds a very expensive and beautiful looking navy blue dress on the bed. It has three-fourth sleeves and flares a little from the hips down. The upper portion of the dress looks form fitting but as she touches the material, it feels comfortable. True enough, as she buttons the dress, it almost feels like she’s wearing nothing. 

 

There’s a knock on the door and when she allows for the person to enter, she’s almost expecting it to be Joonmyun but is greeted by a maid asking for her dirty clothes. 

 

Joonmyun enters without knocking a few seconds after the maid leaves. He’s wearing a blue striped long sleeved polo with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons undone. His hair is wet and laying flat on his head but even then, it takes her breath away. 

 

“You look beautiful,” he compliments and the pink that colors her cheeks is almost automatic as she walks towards him, the dress swinging along with her movements.

 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she teases and she doesn’t know where her courage comes from but she brushes away some of his fringe when she’s near enough. 

 

“Now why don’t we go back to making those drinks?” Kyungsoo laughs and nods as they head back to the cafe. 

 

By the time they’re back in the kitchen, they’re both serious and waste no more time and ingredients on each other. They do, occasionally, try and sabotage each other’s drinks before realizing that they will be the one suffering for it (because Joonmyun is the one drinking   
the one she’s making and vice versa). 

 

“Done!” They both say at the same time and when they meet each other’s eyes they can’t help but laugh surprised that they finished at the same time. 

 

“I guess we both get to eat your chocolates,” Joonmyun says as he puts their drinks on the tray and leads Kyungsoo back to their table. 

 

Joonmyun presents his drink to Kyungsoo, a tall glass with white liquid topped of with whipped cream and sprinkled with what Kyungsoo can smell as cinnamon. “I call it [Snow White](http://www.starbucks.com/menu/drinks/frappuccino-blended-beverages/cinnamon-dolce-frappuccino-blended-creme),” Joonmyun says with pride. 

 

Kyungsoo does the same, pushing a glass with dark coffee colored liquid to Joonmyun. The drink is topped off with minimal amounts of whipped cream and sprinkled with chocolate powder, “I call it [Dark Prince](http://i3.minus.com/jgzd0cufBFRGO.jpg).” 

 

“On three, we drink.”

 

Kyungsoo nods and together they poke their drinks with straws. 

 

“One.” Joonmyun looks into Kyungsoo’s eyes and the smile they share is so natural.

 

“Two.”

 

“Three.”

 

And together they taste a little bit of heaven on earth. 

 

 

All of a sudden she finds herself back in Joonmyun’s car, on their way to her house. She doesn’t know where time went, or how time flew by so fast, one minute they were laughing over their drinks, drinking the cool liquid on a cold Christmas night but feeling warmer and happier than ever and the next they were on the road back home. She feels her heart sink a little at the thought that she won’t be able to see him any time soon after this. 

 

She looks at the box in her hands, in the thrill of their personalized drinks, they’d forgotten to eat the chocolates and now she isn’t quite sure if it’s still appropriate to give to Joonmyun.

 

“Kyungsoo.” Joonmyun shakes her out of her thoughts. “We’re here.” 

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Thank you for tonight.”

 

“No, thank you,” Joonmyun says sincerely and when Kyungsoo turns to look at him, Joonmyun has the softest smile decorating his face, making her heart go into a frenzy. 

 

“Uhm, well, I thought maybe you’d want these,” Kyungsoo offers the box to Joonmyun feeling her cheeks flush further. “I—my family won’t be able to finish them and they’re a little more bitter than normal chocolates, so maybe you’d like them.” She doesn’t mention how they’re a little bitter because she knows Joonmyun likes bittersweet things. 

 

Joonmyun takes the box with a smile before he opens the door for Kyungsoo. He’s breathing into her personal space but she finds she doesn’t quite mind as she looks up into those brown pools. 

 

“Thanks for the chocolates.” Joonmyun brushes the strands of her fringe lightly before pressing a chaste kiss there. “Good night.”

 

Despite the cold, Kyungsoo feels her whole face warm up as she touches the place where Joonmyun’s lips landed. She can still feel the softness of his lips and smell the scent of coffee in his breath.

**❅ ❅ ❅**

The acceptance letter from the university is staring right back at Kyungsoo. She still can’t quite believe her application for a scholarship had been granted and now she is one step closer to making her dreams come true. But she’s not as happy as she thought she’d be.

 

She plops herself on her bed, dropping the letter to the floor and stares up at her ceiling as if it holds the answers to the questions she’s not sure she’s asking. 

 

She takes a deep breath and breathes it out slowly, images coming to form in her mind. Her family chattering with her, Lu Han and her family telling stories, Lu Han smiling and laughing, Lu Han helping her when she cried, Lu Han protecting her, the people at the cafe, Joonmyun’s brown eyes, Joonmyun’s soft kiss on her forehead and the smell of black coffee with a hint of cinnamon on his breath. 

 

“Am I ready to leave them all behind?” She whispers and closes her eyes, trying to imagine a life in Paris where she’s all alone, studying her best to become a barista. She remembers the almost promise she’d made with Joonmyun about working for him and this somehow strengthens her resolve to go, even if just a little. 

 

“But I haven’t even told him I love him yet,” she thinks aloud. She sighs wondering if it is even worth it to get her heart broken before she leaves. She knows Joonmyun wouldn’t accept, she’s not nearly as beautiful or experienced as all the other girls he goes out with. She tosses and turns in her bed and thinks about the pros and cons of confessing. 

 

“I don’t have much to lose.” It’s true, if she confesses and gets her heart broken, she can always just move on in Paris, find someone or maybe lose herself in her schooling. 

 

She closes her eyes and thinks about it for a minute or two before sighing and calling her best friend. If she was going to do this, she needs moral support from the person who will probably murder her for her plans. 

 

 

Kyungsoo is thankful for Lu Han’s existence—despite her heavy disapproval she has enabled Kyungsoo to meet Joonmyun. 

 

“So what did you want to talk about?” Joonmyun begins with a flirtatious smile that makes Kyungsoo’s heart skip a beat. 

 

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, knowing she’s practiced her words enough to make it not sound like an idiot of a statement, “I want to be your girlfriend for a day.” 

 

Joonmyun quirks his brow and Kyungsoo explains. 

 

“I just, I want to spend one whole day with you, I want you to treat me how you treat all your girlfriends. I want to be yours for one day and at the same time, I want you to be mine.” She keeps her head down, trying to avoid his eyes despite her outrageous request. 

 

Joonmyun lifts her chin up and whispers, “Look at me.” Her breath catches in her throat as their eyes meet. 

 

“What makes you think I’ll agree?” He smirks at her, fingers grazing the skin of her face slightly. 

 

“Because you’re a gentleman and you would do anything to please a woman.” 

 

Her straightforwardness catches him off guard but he chuckles and nods, “That’s true.”

 

There’s a moment of silence that passes between them before he’s nodding, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

 

Kyungsoo fights the urge to smile so widely but thanks Joonmyun sincerely. She’s grateful Joonmyun doesn’t ask her why. She doesn’t plan on telling Joonmyun she’s leaving. 

 

“I’ll see you in front of Bittersweet Cravings at 10am, two weeks from now. Don’t be late.” She leaves, not waiting for Joonmyun to reply, afraid he’ll ask more probing questions. 

 

As she walks her way back to her home, she bites her bottom lip and tries not to cry at the thought of what this could do to her.

 

 

As Kyungsoo expected, Joonmyun is right on time. 

 

“Joonmyun,” she breathes out not quite really believing to see him there but thankful nonetheless. 

 

“Since I’m going to treat you like my girlfriend, that means we’re going to do everything I’ve planned out for the day.” Joonmyun’s smile is a mix between sexy and inviting and Kyungsoo can only nod trying not to sigh. 

 

“That’s perfectly fine but I have a favor.” Joonmyun nods as if to tell her to keep going. “I wanted to go to this place around 5:30. Is that ok?” 

 

Joonmyun thinks about it for a moment before leaning down a little to whisper in her ears, tucking a lock of her hair in the process, “Of course.” Joonmyun slides his hand down her arm before lacing their fingers together. 

 

“Anything for you.” 

 

Joonmyun takes her out to eat at an expensive restaurant, compliments her on the clothes she’s wearing, he smiles at her a little more sweetly and whispers in her ear sweet words she thought she’d only hear in her dreams. She pushes the thought of this all being fake to the back of her mind. Today she will pretend that everything is real. Today, Joonmyun loves her. 

 

“How about I take you shopping?” Joonmyun offers as they finish eating. Kyungsoo splutters.

 

“No, you don’t have to,” She declines but Joonmyun will have none of it. 

 

“I’m your boyfriend and I want to pamper you,” He says coolly giving her that smile that makes her stomach churn. 

 

She bites her lip and relents, “Alright.”

 

They stop by all kinds of expensive brand name stores, Joonmyun buys her everything that looks good on her. He buys her simple casual clothes to more stylish party ensembles. Kyungsoo denies him at first but by the third shop, she realizes she can’t fight him and she rather likes being pampered. She likes the way Joonmyun looks her up and down and smiles at her like he loves the sight of her trying on clothes for him. 

 

They’re sitting on one of the plush couches waiting for a pair of shoes Joonmyun requested for Kyungsoo’s size. 

 

“Are you having fun?” Joonmyun asks caressing her cheek. 

 

“Yes, thank you very much,” She whispers a little breathless. 

 

“The shoes you requested, sir?” One of the male attendants asks and Joonmyun grabs the box before the attendant can set it down. Joonmyun gets off the couch and settles in front of Kyungsoo. 

 

“Give me your foot, Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo blushes as she lifts her right foot up into Joonmyun’s palms. 

 

Joonmyun carefully slips the peep toe nude pumps on her foot. It’s the perfect size she notes and can’t fight the red that settles on her face as Joonmyun slips the other shoe to her other feet. It feels almost like she really is Cinderella. Joonmyun takes her hand to help her stand up and admire the way the shoe lengthens her legs. 

 

“You know what would go with these shoes?” He whispers as they look at their reflection from the mirror. Joonmyun is behind her, his hands on her shoulders and his lips so close to her ear. “That [dress](http://i5.minus.com/iR3ry1YfgwDb6.jpg) over there.” 

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes catch on the pale colored dress sprinkled with hearts and a black ribbon belt. Joonmyun motions for an attendant to get Kyungsoo’s size, which he’s memorized by now with all the shopping they’ve done. 

 

When Kyungsoo walks out of the fitting room, she watches for Joonmyun’s reaction. Her heart skips a beat when Joonmyun merely looks at her, mouth open just the slightest bit but there’s something in his eyes that tells her he more than just appreciates the way she looks. 

 

“We’re taking the dress and the shoes.” He stands up and heads over to her. When he’s close enough he places a simple black ribbon headband on her hair, “Wear these for the rest of the day.” 

 

When she looks up into his eyes to reply, the words die down in her throat. There’s something more in those eyes and she can’t quite agree or disagree to his statement. She settles for a nod which makes him smile.

 

It’s almost 5 when they finish and Kyungsoo anxiously reminds Joonmyun of her request. And Joonmyun, playing the perfect role of perfect boyfriend allows himself to be pulled to wherever it is Kyungsoo wants for them to go. Kyungsoo directs him to a place not far from where he lives. The sun is close to setting when they stop by a tall building. 

 

Kyungsoo excitedly pulls Joonmyun to the elevator telling him to hurry up. 

 

Joonmyun laughs as he asks, “What’s all this about?”

 

“You’ll see,” Kyungsoo replies as they wait for the elevator to bring them to the topmost floor. 

 

When they land on their floor, Kyungsoo holds onto Joonmyun’s hand and leads him to the rooftop. “I used to go here all the time when I got frustrated about not getting any of my coffee mixes right or when something went wrong with some of my pastries. This is where I took my baking lessons. The ahjumma who taught me allows me to go here from time to time even though I don’t take her classes anymore.” 

 

When she opens the door, there is the perfect view of the sun setting. They both take a moment to admire it’s beauty before Kyungsoo leads him to sit down on the ready blanket. On the blanket is an open basket. 

 

“I had her bring up some of the cakes I baked beforehand. There’s some drinks there.” Kyungsoo takes out the two slices of cake and Joonmyun pulls out some juice. “I didn’t have enough time to mix coffee but I hope you like the cake.”

 

Kyungsoo checks her watch periodically as she eats the cake and she knows Joonmyun notices. “What’s wrong?”

 

Kyungsoo sighs and looks at her watch. It’s almost time. “I wanted you to see something.” She sets her plate down and stands up, asking for Joonmyun’s hand at the same time. She checks her watch again as Joonmyun straightens his posture. It’s time. “Look, Joonmyun.”

 

She watches Joonmyun look straight as the sun sets, illuminating the buildings and billboards and that’s when they see it. 

 

_사랑해 준면_ is printed out in the view in big bold letters from the billboards. Some of their usual words missing because of the light the sun illuminates. 

 

“I have been for a while now,” Kyungsoo whispers as they watch the sun continue to set and the words reappear on the billboard. 

 

Joonmyun turns to her and she does her best to smile sincerely. Joonmyun returns the smile, a little kinder and softer, an apology written on it. “I know.”

 

Kyungsoo pretends it doesn’t break her heart when he replies. She takes a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know.”

 

“Thank you,” Joonmyun whispers and Kyungsoo has to remind herself that she has to be alright with the way things are going, that she doesn’t mind because she expected it all along. 

 

“Can I kiss you?” Joonmyun whispers and he leans in so close that it makes Kyungsoo a little dizzy. 

 

“Yes, you can do anything you want with me.” 

 

Joonmyun captures her lips in a soft kiss. His lips are softer than she expected and tastes of chocolate and cream from the cake. It’s the perfect first kiss. When Joonmyun pulls away, he’s dragging her back to the elevator. 

 

“Where are we going?” She asks panting for air as the elevator doors close. Joonmyun looks at her with his eyes glazed over. 

 

“I’m taking you back to my house.”

 

Kyungsoo’s mouth goes dry.

 

 

Kyungsoo barely registers the ride back to Joonmyun’s mansion because Joonmyun wouldn’t stop whispering in her ears what he would do to her once they stepped foot in the privacy of his room. By the time they get off the car, Joonmyun is tugging her to what she can assume is his room. 

 

When Joonmyun kisses her again, it’s rougher and more passionate. There’s a fire that settles in her stomach as he pulls her close to his body, feeling the warmth emanate from him. When Joonmyun’s tongue licks at her bottom lip, she can’t help but gasp at the action and then his tongue is exploring the contours of her mouth. 

 

It’s clear that she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Joonmyun seems to understand this and so he guides her with his hands as he lays her down his bed. 

 

“I promise to be gentle,” He whispers on her lips before capturing them in a searing kiss once again, unbuttoning his polo. 

 

Kyungsoo moans and gasps as Joonmyun places kisses along her jawline and her neck and when Joonmyun is topless she can’t help but run her hands up and down his toned torso. Joonmyun smirks down at her before telling her to sit up so he can unzip her dress. 

 

Joonmyun takes great care in undressing Kyungsoo, letting the dress fall to expose clear smooth skin and Kyungsoo tries to cover herself with her arms but Joonmyun moves them away. 

 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers as he kisses her collarbones, sucking a mark as he takes off her bra. “And I want you.” 

 

She bites her lips and gathers all of her courage to unbutton his pants. 

 

Kyungsoo registers that Joonmyun is skilled with both of his hands and his mouth because in no time they are both naked, skin flushed against skin. When she meets Joonmyun’s eyes, there’s a certain warmth to it that she hopes isn’t all pretend. He palms her cheek and kisses her forehead. 

 

The first thrust is painful but she bites her lip so she doesn’t cry out. The second is almost as painful but Joonmyun keeps his promise at being gentle. He kisses her and whispers sweet nothings in her ear. She wonders for the briefest of moments if he means those words, if _this_ means anything, before getting lost in the rhythm of his thrusting as it slowly builds into pleasure. 

 

Before long, Joonmyun has her crying out in pleasure, moaning his name, asking for more and Joonmyun is more than willing to please. And with the blinding pleasure, Kyungsoo throws all her insecurities away, throws all doubts and second thoughts and lives in the now. 

 

 

A small regretful smile settles on Kyungsoo’s lips. She traces the outline of Joonmyun’s beautiful sleeping face. She kisses his forehead softly, then his nose and then his lips, making sure to linger just a little bit longer than necessary. 

 

“Thank you for everything, Joonmyun.” Her lips brushing against his lightly. “Goodbye.”

**❅ ❅ ❅**

Life in Paris isn’t what Kyungsoo expects it to be but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She buries herself in school work and school activities, making friends with different people from all walks of life. She never tells them about the boy back in Korea who stole her heart, doesn’t tell them about how he may still have it.

 

Lu Han updates her about life in Korea, tells her of all the things she’s missing, the details of Lu Han’s love life and how her relationship with Jongin has progressed. She never talks about Joonmyun and Kyungsoo wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

 

Kyungsoo meets Chanyeol on her third year in university.

 

He’s everything Joonmyun isn’t. He’s tall and smiles a lot. He’s funny and talkative and he’s handsome. He’s Korean and reminds Kyungsoo of home in Paris. He takes the same course, but they’ve only met now because for the first time they have the same classes. 

 

It takes one week of talking and exchanging pleasantries for Chanyeol to ask her out. By the time a month has passed, Kyungsoo finds herself in a relationship. The first thing she does is take a picture with him and tell Lu Han about her boyfriend.

 

 

It’s been a year since she’s started dating Chanyeol and she knows he’s expecting them to progress in their relationship, mainly she knows Chanyeol wants to have sex with her. But the thing is, she isn’t quite ready yet. She tells herself this even though she knows she willingly gave her first time to Joonmyun, so so willingly. 

 

“That was different,” she whispers to herself, so softly she has to wonder if she had said anything at all. She repeats these words until it comes true, until it makes sense and it becomes a perfect excuse. (But it isn’t.)

 

Lying down on her bed, she wonders what’s wrong, why can’t she do it. She knows she loves Chanyeol. Chanyeol is sweet, holds her hand when they’re walking, kisses her good morning and goodnight, is the first to apologize when they fight even if he’s not at fault. Chanyeol is the perfect boyfriend. He is more than she can ask for, but she doesn’t understand why she can’t just willingly give herself to him. 

 

Chanyeol is everything Joonmyun isn’t, he will never hurt her. He won’t hurt her like how Joonmyun did. He loves her, he looks at her with a softness in his eyes that she’s never seen in Joonmyun’s eyes. He holds her in his arms until she stops crying from her problems and tells her everything will be fine. Chanyeol is _here_ , Joonmyun isn’t. 

 

Joonmyun is her past. Chanyeol is her present, her future. 

 

She takes a deep breath. 

 

“Tonight,” she tells herself, “We’ll do it tonight.”

 

 

Before Chanyeol can kiss her goodbye that night, she holds onto the sleeve of his jacket, “Do you want to stay the night?” She doesn’t meet his eyes, can’t do it. But he lifts her chin up so he can look into them anyways and there’s that soft smile on his face that is only there when he looks at her, when he looks at her with love in his eyes and she feels something like guilt stab at her heart. She doesn’t know why. 

 

“I do,” Chanyeol whispers, lacing his fingers with hers and he’s the one that leads her back to her apartment. 

 

Chanyeol kisses her slowly and lovingly as he strips his jacket off and pulling Kyungsoo closer to deepen the kiss. They separate for the briefest of seconds so Kyungsoo can do away with her own jacket and so she can take a breath. It occurs to her that is the most intimate kiss they’ve ever shared. 

 

It doesn’t take long before Chanyeol is capturing her lips in a kiss once more. They help each other undress while Chanyeol places kisses on any exposed skin he can reach. Kyungsoo moans at the sensation. 

 

When they land on her bed, skin against skin, she can’t hide the fear in her eyes as Chanyeol looks into hers. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol whispers right by her ear, placing a soft kiss on the skin behind it. 

 

“I —” the words die in her throat, she can’t say it. She wants to but she’s afraid of the consequences. 

 

Chanyeol lifts himself up to stare into her eyes, watches how the light falls on her pale skin. “You can tell me, Kyungsoo. It’s okay.” He brushes a few strands of her hair away from her face. 

 

She swallows her own saliva, “I can’t do this,” She whispers avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes once more, “I’m so sorry.”

 

She gently pushes Chanyeol off of her but Chanyeol roughly gets up and grabs at his pants on the floor. Kyungsoo flinches at the action. She knows she’s offended him. She covers herself with her blanket as Chanyeol continues to dress angrily.

 

“You know what, Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo winces at his tone but looks up to him anyways. There are tears threatening to fall from his eyes. The guilt that settles into her stomach is prominent as he stands up before her, hair askew, his pants half undone and his shirt still in his hands. “I love you so much,” he whispers voice slightly broken, “but you can’t love me. I don’t know why but I can see it in your eyes and I thought maybe finally this time you were ready to open your heart to me but no,” he wipes his tears harshly, “you still can’t.”

 

Chanyeol finishes putting on his shirt and grabs his things. “I think we should break up,” he says back facing Kyungsoo before he closes the door on her, on them.

 

Kyungsoo cries as she dresses herself again and doesn’t stop crying until she falls asleep.

 

Kyungsoo wipes the tears on her face, sniffling so she can breathe again. Her life feels like an absolute wreck at the moment and she wishes she could have a do over, go back to a time when things were simpler, when all she ever dreamed of was a scholarship in France, when love wasn't in the equation.

 

She pushes her hair back, trying to keep them out of her tear-streaked face. She grabs the tissue box and blows her nose before burying her head in her arms and crying again. She hates being weak but she can’t help crying anyways. She can’t help feeling like she’s been trying to act strong when really all she was doing was lie to herself.

 

When she's calmed down enough to think properly, she gets off her desk and grabs her phone. She wipes anymore stray tears and takes a few deep breaths. She opens a new message to Chanyeol and types in _I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry._

 

There really is nothing more she can say, there is no one to blame but herself and maybe the person whose love she's still wishing for. But it's not his fault because Kyungsoo _knew_ Joonmyun and the type of person he was. It was Kyungsoo who became selfish and wished for something she’d known that was impossible.

 

It takes a week for Chanyeol to reply to her text message, albeit a sorry excuse for an apology. 

 

_Let’s meet at the school fountain after your class tomorrow._ is all it says.

 

Chanyeol is already there when Kyungsoo arrives. He’s sitting on one of the benches shaded by a tree and overlooking the fountain. Kyungsoo takes a tentative seat beside him. 

 

“You know when you first told me you loved me I never believed you?” He asks but it’s one of those statements that Kyungsoo knows she doesn’t need to reply to. “Even then I was happy because for a moment I believed that in the end those words would come true.” 

 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath and continues to look out to the fountain in front of them. Kyungsoo sets her gaze at her hands on her lap. “I’m guessing you thought everything was fine. I can’t blame you for that. But you should know our relationship wasn’t perfect.” Chanyeol sighs and rests his arms on his thighs. 

 

“There were days when you looked at me and didn’t really see me. It was like you were expecting someone else. Sometimes when I held your hand or kissed you and you didn’t return it with the same fervor, I wondered if there was someone else.” Kyungsoo opens her mouth to protest but Chanyeol beats her to it. “I know there was never someone else but sometimes when you couldn’t look at me with the same amount of affection I gave you, I wondered what was wrong. It wasn’t until your best friend told me that I understood what was happening.” 

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at Chanyeol’s confession. “Your friend, Lu Han, was afraid that I would hurt you so she told me about how you got hurt before you left. How someone broke your heart in Korea and that I should take care of you. It was a pretty interesting email. I never bothered to tell you because if I did, my greatest fears would have been confirmed. You’re still in love with the asshole who broke your heart, aren’t you Kyungsoo?”

 

Chanyeol looks at her then, his eyes are tired and red and a little swollen. There are dark circles under them, and she almost reaches out to caress his cheek. She swallows knowing she isn’t in the position where she’s allowed to care. It’s her fault after all. 

 

“You haven’t moved on have you?” He asks, voice much softer, more broken and Kyungsoo looks away because she’s not sure how to answer that. Chanyeol just sighs at Kyungsoo’s silence. 

 

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo replies after a while.

 

Chanyeol tilts her head up and Kyungsoo is shocked to see a soft sad smile on his face. “Don’t lie to yourself, Kyungsoo. You’re only hurting yourself.” He gathers her in his arms. “I forgive you,” he whispers. “You probably don’t deserve it, but because I still love you, I can’t help but forgive you.” 

 

Kyungsoo can’t help but tear up at those words.

 

“This time though, don’t hurt anyone. Don’t use other people to move on, Kyungsoo,” he whispers as Kyungsoo slowly cries. “If he’s the one that makes you happy, then chase after him.” 

 

Kyungsoo cries even harder than she did the past days and Chanyeol holds her tighter one last time. When she no longer has any tears left, Chanyeol kisses her forehead and whispers, “When you go back to Korea, remember there is a Park Chanyeol who will always love you in Paris. Be happy, Kyungsoo.”

**❅ ❅ ❅**

The first thing Kyungsoo does when she comes home from her graduation is check her mail. She isn’t at all surprised when she sees who it’s from and the content of the mail. A smile decorates her face at the sight.

 

_**Lu Han Updates** \- I’m getting married!!! 12:54PM_

 

Kyungsoo reads the email thoroughly and smiles because she’s genuinely happy for her best friend. She bites her lip however at the last sentence of the mail. 

 

_I know it’s your graduation today, so please come home as soon as possible. I need my Maid of Honor by my side at all times. Please?_

 

She can almost picture her best friend begging with her hands held tightly together. She knew she had to go back, she just wasn’t sure if she was ready yet. Lu Han is going to marry Jongin, the chances of her running into Joonmyun were more than likely. She didn’t know if she was going to be alright with that.

 

Even so, as soon as she finishes reading the mail, she books the earliest flight back to Korea. 

 

 

Lu Han and Jongin take care of her accommodations. They had convinced her to stay over at their mansion and wouldn’t take no for an answer. A rather heavy sigh escapes her lips as the driver the couple had assigned to pick her up begins their journey to the couple’s new home. 

 

It wasn’t the fact that she was staying over at the couple’s mansion that made the arrangement rather uncomfortable but the thought that she’d be seeing Joonmyun rather frequently. She didn’t know if she was ready for that kind of confrontation. She wasn’t sure if there was even going to be one. She leans her head on the window of the car as she tries to think calmly and readies herself for whatever the outcome her stay over will greet her. 

 

It doesn’t take long for them to reach the mansion. She expects something much bigger than Joonmyun’s mansion but is surprised to find it significantly smaller. The driver drops her off the front door where the familiar figure of her best friend greets her. She has barely stepped out of the car when Lu Han comes barreling towards her to envelop her in a tight embrace. 

 

Kyungsoo laughs as she admires the taller girl and how much she has changed over the course of four years. 

 

“You’re still as beautiful as ever,” she comments. Lu Han only laughs and twirls Kyungsoo’s now wavy locks.

 

“Look at you!” She says excitedly, “You curled your hair!” 

 

“You sound like I didn’t take a picture and send it to you,” She replies as Lu Han leads her inside the mansion. Lu Han calls for a maid to get Kyungsoo’s things up to her room and leads her to the mansion’s living room. 

 

“The boys are visiting and they’re actually excited to see you again,” Lu Han comments with a smile but Kyungsoo can’t help but freeze up at her statement. A hand reaches up to tug on Lu Han’s arm and stops her from walking. 

 

“Lu Han, I—” she finds she can’t say but Lu Han gives her a sympathetic smile, giving Kyungsoo a comforting squeeze on her arm. 

 

“Don’t worry, Joonmyun is out of the country for the week. He won’t be coming back until the day before the wedding.” 

 

The breath of relief she releases makes Lu Han giggle but Kyungsoo feels like the weight of the world has stopped resting on her shoulders that she lets her best friend laugh at her anyways. 

 

In the living room, she is greeted by the sight of F4 without Joonmyun. They look oddly incomplete even though when she used to be around them, they were mostly in threes. They all greet her warmly, Jongin even going as far as kissing her on the cheek. She rather expects Jongdae’s hug because he’d always been touchy, but Sehun’s warm smile and warm greeting surprises her most—he was the one she barely interacted with. 

 

They talk about mostly her, catching up with her life and scrunching four years worth of stories they’d never heard into a three or so hours. Lu Han and Jongin occasionally remind her details she left out and Kyungsoo is entertained by how in sync the couple have become. 

 

The duo stay until dinner and the talk moves from Kyungsoo’s life to the life of everyone in the table. She doesn’t notice—not until she’s lying in her bed for the night—that the conversation never, not even once, revolved around Joonmyun. 

 

 

Kyungsoo gets whisked away on wedding preparations and practices that she barely has any time to emotionally and mentally prepare for Joonmyun’s arrival. 

 

So it surprises her when she sees him at the last wedding rehearsal, looking pristine and handsome as ever. She hasn’t seen or heard much of him in the past four years, avoiding all major news that may come out about him. She swallows the lump in her throat and forces her eyes to stray away from the sight of him as she walks towards Sehun. 

 

“Hey,” Sehun greets her, “you ready?” Kyungsoo only manages a nod before Sehun offers his arm and they go to their line.

 

She sends a small prayer of thanks that Sehun is the best man and not Joonmyun because then she doesn’t get partnered with Joonmyun. She tries to ignore the sudden wave of nostalgia she gets from having Sehun’s rather toned arm in her hand. It reminds her so much of personalized frappuccinos in a small cafe. 

 

“Are you alright?” Sehun whispers as they take short strides towards the altar and Kyungsoo smiles at the concern because she hadn’t expected Sehun to be so nice. She nods and Sehun leaves her to her thoughts once more as they separate to go to the bride and groom’s side. 

 

All throughout the wedding rehearsal, she avoids meeting Joonmyun’s eyes or even just a glimpse of him. She focuses instead on the profile of her best friend and silently prays that no one calls her out on her rather stiff posture. 

 

To her luck, no one does, but Lu Han notices and she’s sure others, too. Jongdae pats her on the back and Sehun squeezes her hand as he continues his job of being an escort. She’s almost thankful at their silent comfort and ignores the feeling of eyes on her, thinking it’s all in her mind and that there is no way Joonmyun would be looking at her. 

 

 

The wedding happens in a blur and Kyungsoo loses herself in the excitement of her best friend tying the knot. She nearly squeals as Jongin carefully takes the veil off Lu Han and kisses her chastely but sweetly. She wonders when her time will come, if it will come at all. 

 

She’s dancing with Sehun, surprised that the older even asked her to dance, when he clears his throat and begins to talk in a soft voice. 

 

“I think you should talk to Joonmyun,” He says pulling her close so he’s nearly whispering in her ears. She wants to reply, to protest, but Sehun continues talking. 

 

“There are some things you need to know that only he can tell you.” Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat at that and she isn’t sure what Sehun means because there is nothing more to be said between her and Joonmyun. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean.” She manages to whisper but Sehun only pulls back and smiles at her. Before she knows it she is being lead right in front of Joonmyun who is scowling at them. 

 

“What are you doing?” She whispers harshly as Sehun pulls away from his hold on her. 

 

“Giving you the push you need.” 

 

Sehun is gone when she looks up and is greeted by Joonmyun’s scary scowl before it softens into a frown. He sighs before giving her a pained smile, “Do you want to dance?” Offering her his hand in the process and Kyungsoo gulps and places her palm softly on Joonmyun’s. 

 

Joonmyun pulls her close that their chests touch and his breath is warm on her ears and she can’t help but feel like this is perfect, that the way they stand so closely to each other is _meant to be_. She notes that Joonmyun smells much more like coffee, bitter with a hint of cinnamon and it brings her back to those moments she hasn’t relived in a long time. 

 

“It’s nice to see you again,” Joonmyun says so softly she almost misses it and she can’t fight the blush that makes its way to her cheeks. 

 

“It’s nice seeing you, too,” even though that isn’t how she feels. Joonmyun chuckles, like he knows she’s lying. 

 

“You’ve grown much more beautiful in the past four years,” He takes a deep breath like he’s been wanting to say those words to her, “You’ve curled your hair. It suits you.”

 

Kyungsoo is glad that she has her head tucked in the junction where Joonmyun’s neck and shoulder meet because she’s pretty sure her face is as red as a tomato. She takes a few deep breaths before muttering a soft thanks and utters a compliment in return which she means.

 

They finish the slow song with no more talk and Kyungsoo is ready to push Joonmyun away because she’s not expecting for Joonmyun to want to dance with her anymore after it. 

 

“Can we talk?” He whispers pulling back to look at her, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ears and then twirling the strands on his index finger and pulling softly so the waves fall back on her shoulder. It takes her breath away, reminding her of Christmas dates. And it’s enough to give him an affirmative nod. She bites her lip as Joonmyun takes her hands off his shoulders and holds one of them in his and leads her to one of the empty balconies.

 

Joonmyun doesn’t release her hand when they reach the railings of the balcony and instead watches as he slowly laces their fingers together. A soft smile graces his lips as he looks at their intertwined hands and Kyungsoo flushes at the sight. 

 

“What are you doing?” She manages to squeak out and the smile that Joonmyun throws her way is almost heartbreakingly sad. 

 

“I love you,” Joonmyun says so softly that she thinks she imagines it. She splutters as Joonmyun pulls her closer. “I love you,” he repeats, “I never got to tell you when you left.” 

 

Kyungsoo can’t reply, all the words are leaving her because Joonmyun is confessing to her with that small sad smile like he expects her to have moved on in those four years. 

 

“I was hoping I could tell you when we stopped pretending but when I woke up you weren’t there.” He turns away, still not releasing her hand and leans on the railing. “I wanted to go after you so badly, but Lu Han refused to tell me where you went. It wasn’t until you got a boyfriend that she did, that she started sharing information about you.” He chuckles at that. “I never really told anyone about my feelings towards you and I guess she thought it would be okay to let me in on everything because you were finally moving on.” 

 

“When you broke up with your boyfriend I was this close to booking a flight to Paris,” he gestures with his fingers, and looks at her to see if she’s still listening. Kyungsoo nods and Joonmyun goes on. “But my father wasn’t happy to find his only heir chasing after some woman. And I’ve been in the States trying to convince him that Do Kyungsoo is the only woman for me.” 

 

Kyungsoo softly gasps as Joonmyun straightens his posture and bends down on one knee. 

 

“I’m not going to take no for an answer. You have no idea what kind of hell I went through just to get my father’s approval.” He clears his throat and with one hand takes out a black velvety box. “So, Miss Do Kyungsoo, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

 

There’s a moment of silence as Kyungsoo tries to gather her wits and process everything that’s going on right at this very minute. She barely manages to choke out, “Yes,” and then Joonmyun’s enveloping her in his arms and twirling her in the air before he can even get the ring on her finger but that doesn’t matter. Because as Joonmyun leans in to kiss her, she can’t help but think that this is that one dream she never knew would become true. 

 

The kiss isn’t anything like their first. It’s sweet and bitter—like the perfect coffee mix that is Kyungsoo’s favorite—and she kisses back, hoping Joonmyun feels all the love she still has and will always have for him.


End file.
